I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
