chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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