They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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