Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
