I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
