found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
