I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
