i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
