just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
