I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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