so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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