He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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