Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
