No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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