I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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