Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
God, I missed his penis.
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