Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
