I CAN MOONWALK!
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
40s are totally the cure
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
