Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
