dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
