So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
