she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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