Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
