i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
