i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
