I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
