I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
