Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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