Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
