Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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