I swear she didn't look like that last week.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
