Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
