You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize