I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
