i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
