Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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