people are starting to question the shark bite story
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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