who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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