I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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