Can Purell be used as lube?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
This toilet bowl is my home.
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