you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
