dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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