Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
