At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
