im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
