I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
