New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
