dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize