You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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