im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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