If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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