And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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