We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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