So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
