So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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