arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
