so that wasnt chicken after all
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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