She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
