i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
