we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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