Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Green mimosas i think yes
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
