Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
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