girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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