its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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